Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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