I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
