Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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