I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
