Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Randomize
