We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
