margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i just had sex bonerless
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize