Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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