This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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