..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
