Heybabeimwearingurpanties
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Randomize
