she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
