She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
