we have pet lesbian snakes
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
why is half of my head shaved?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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