well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
