Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
