i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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