Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Randomize
