it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
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