You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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