he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize