Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
