Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Randomize