Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize