This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
