i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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