I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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