so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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