hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
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You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
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We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
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