We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Randomize
