I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize