are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Redeem this text for a blowjob
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Randomize
