my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
