Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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