the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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