i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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