The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize