Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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