I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
