Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
