he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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