Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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