why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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