A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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