You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
