I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
