Yo dont text me then not text me
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
