Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
