so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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