hotel room ftw
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
