pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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