Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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