I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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