I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
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