I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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