Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
