It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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