member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize