you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
