Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
