I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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