Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize
