The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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